Sunn 0)))- Earth Songs

(Southern Lard)

By Daniel Cairns

2009 was a tremendous year for music. We saw fantastic records come from artists like Portal and Mastodon, and witnessed the very public birth of incredible new talent like Justin Bieber. It truly was something of an annus mirabilis.

However, one event dealt a crushing blow to the annus, like a great, flaming dildo.

We said goodbye to Michael Jackson.

Yes, the King of Pop popped one too many pills, and popped off to the great pop concert in the sky. It was a momentous event, in some morbid way. Just like everyone remembered where they were when JFK was shot, everyone remembers where they were when they heard the news that MJ had died. I certainly do. I was tossing myself off stupid over emaciated Eastern European girls getting gangbanged when a friend msned me with the heartbreaking news.

After walloping one out, I perused the internet, confirming to myself that he had indeed left blood (and probably vomit) on the dance floor. It was a sad day. This man got me into music as a child. He got everyone into music as a child.

Alas, like a bunch of seagulls flying after a trawler, musicians and artists clamoured after his… er, carcass. Tribute after tribute came out, and outpourings of emotion frothed bountifully like… a great big fucking bounty bar. I mean, just look at his funeral. It was like a veritable cavalcade of pop history, as Usher, Justin Timberlake and The Jacksons themselves all gave heart rending tributes to this musical behemoth.

And now, we can add Sunn O))) to that list.

Yes, the pioneers of drone doom have contributed their own tribute to the King of Pop in the form of Earth Songs, a haunting collection of the King of Pop’s greatest hits, reinterpreted for artfags and people who like a smoke. Comprising 5 songs over 12 cds, it’s both a touching ode to Michael Jackson, and a sterling piece of drone in itself.

Kicking off with title track Earth Song (which at 100 odd minutes, is the sprightliest track on the album), the listener is attacked with an unrelenting wave of the band’s now legendary feedback. After forty minutes of this, guest vocalist Alan Dubin ( of Khanate, OLD and Gnaw fame) blasts in with his trademark howl. ‘WHAT ABOUT ELEPHANTS?’ he torturously croons, over detuned guitars and funky beats (provided by Timbaland). It’s a pulsating, immediate start to the album.

The next track, a heartbreaking rendition of The Girl is Mine, featuring a beautifully judged duet between Lee Dorrian and Tito Jackson, slows things write down. Over 6 CDs, the pair argue over who the girl actually belongs to, whilst the musical backdrop gives the music a sinister, ‘dangerously obsessive stalker ex boyfriend’ menace. It’s a harrowing piece of work. A bit like Thriller.

Speaking of which, that’s the next song. Jarboe is the guest artist this time, and she stalks menacingly through a bowel rupturing soundscape of noise. In keeping with the spirit of the original, Sunn O))) acquired a guest actor for the spoken word parts. Naturally Vincent Price wasn’t available, because he’s fucking dead. Thankfully though, the band found his spiritual successor to fill in… Michael Cera.

To go through the rest would ruin the experience for you. All I’ll say though, is that you have a version of Billy Jean that would make Thor done a poo.

Sunn O))) have delivered possibly the greatest covers album in the history of music. I’d be very surprised if Michael Jackson wasn’t in Heaven right this minute, bouncing Bubbles off his knee, thinking to himself  ‘fucking spot on lads.’

It don’t matter if you’re black or white. Absolutely everyone will enjoy this.


Fuck The Facts- Disgorge, Mexico: The Movie

(Handshake Inc/ Relapse Records)

By Daniel Cairns

Disgorge, Mexico isn’t your average music video. There’s no Telephone style product placement here. The closest it gets to that is when a woman pisses into a bottle of lager.

Yep! It’s a beauty.

First things first, Davids Hall and Carduso didn’t have an easy undertaking making this film. Trying to make a film around an album, particularly a vicious buggery of an album like Disgorge Mexico is always going to be a fucking twat of an undertaking. And often ill advised. I remember when I was 13 years old I wanted to make a movie around Radiohead‘s OK Computer. Involving aliens and ghosts and shit. It would have been rubbish because everyone’s retarded when they’re 13.

Anyhoo, trying to construct a cohesive narrative around a batshit grind album is going to be fucking hard. However, the Davids have managed it.

Well, I say that, but I seriously don’t think I have a fucking clue what’s happening in the film itself. So you’re going to have to rely on my pretty dense interpretation. Sorry.

Basically, the focus of the story is a very pretty blonde woman (who I’m pretty sure is a lesbian, judging by the amount of time she’s copping off with other women), who gets wrapped up in all sorts of bad shit. Substances, self destruction, misanthropy, lots of awful stuff. Or good stuff if you’re that way inclined. Anyway, she’s walking along with who I presume to be her girlfriend (another pretty woman, this time with pink hair. She looks like Jane Goldman a bit. Go google her. Seriously, I can wait five minutes. You frenzied wanker).

Then shit goes off. In a big way.

I won’t ruin it too much, but we get murder, eldritch fellas in robes,  a man dancing in his underwear, defecating on the dead, and a woman giving birth to (or shitting out) something bordering on the Lovecraftian.

Loathe as I am to use the cliche, it’s a headfuck.

I’m a wanker when it comes to movies. I wouldn’t say I’m a snob, as I’m probably more likely to watch fucking Van Helsing than The Unbearable Lightness of Being, but I think I can recognise when something’s good or not. I watched films at Uni for three and a half years like, so I’m pretty sure I know what I’m talking about. Even though it’s a fucking useless wasted degree but aaaaanyway.

Messrs Hall and Carduso’s movie is definitely inspired by the artier end of the spectrum. In some ways, it reminded me of E Elias Merhige’s Begotten. Like that movie Disgorge, Mexcico is without dialogue, extremely bleak and utterly confounding, though Disgorge, Mexico doesn’t feature a character called God Killing Himself, and is clearly the poorer for it.  But Begotten also featured riffs on ritualism and self destruction (albeit a much more pagan interpretation).

Both movies are predominately fixated on sex, death and rebirth too. More than once in Disgorge, Mexico we’re shown scenes where someone’s getting fucked, beaten or murdered. It’s edited in such a way though (I hope so anyway, otherwise my interpretation is going to look pretty cornball) as to appear ambiguous, showing the obvious primal link between sex and violence. It’s like when you walk in on your parents, and you wonder why your Dad’s wrestling your Mum.  Erm… Also the aforementioned birth scene is as nightmarish as anything conjured up by any number of auteurs.

However! Though thematically linked to Merhige’s arthouse masterpiece, David Hall is a different beast directorially. Where Merhige is sedate, and lets scenes cultivate and breathe, further reinforcing the organic, naturalistic themes of his movie, Hall is like a snarling supercharged PCPed up bulldog, arguably reflecting the chemical-addled, fucked up insanity of early 21st century existence. Barely does a shot last any more than a few seconds. Basically, if you’re epileptic, don’t watch, as you’ll have the mother of all seizures.

It can get a bit much. Many a time I had to avert my stupid sensitive eyes when some mad camera trick was in play, and there’s sometimes an over reliance on flashiness (for instance there’s a hell of a lot of strobe editing used, which gets utterly bewildering) but the fact that Handshake Inc. have made a movie around an album and not fucked up (in fact, quite the opposite) deserves mucho kudos. That I was driven to spout a load of ill informed pseudo toss about the movie can only be to the director’s credit.

It’s disturbing, confusing, utterly disgusting and veeeeery scary in bits. I liked it lots!

I still have no idea what the dancing man in his underwear represented though.

Also I hate having to score this, as putting a mark on something like this is like dancing about robots, but if I have to…


Interview – The Dillinger Escape Plan

For over a decade now New Jersey’s finest The Dillinger Escape Plan have been a showcase on how to grow as a band without sacrificing yourselves, and how to make heavy music melodic without compromise.  With new album ‘Option Paralysis‘ out now, Demon Pigeon caught up with frontman Greg Puciato to talk about the new album, the state of the band, their views on downloading and the chances of UK Dillinger fans getting to see the band up close and personal.  Interview by Paul Stephenson.

DP: Hi Greg, thanks for taking the time to answer these questions. Firstly, you’ve decided to stream the full album prior to release, something a lot of bands are starting to do. What was the decision behind this?

Greg: Well I was opposed to streaming it too far in advance, sometimes you see bands streaming really early, and I think that kinda kills the fun and surprise of getting the record and listening to it in a high quality format when it comes out. I’m still up on the air on whether we should stream it at all. Maybe just one song next time, who knows. On one hand, we aren’t really giving the record away, it’s still just streaming, and the audio quality of streams is pretty bad compared to the real lossless audio. On the other hand, like I said, why not just have people wait ’til it comes out. That’s the point of a release date. It’s something new and I don’t think the “pros” and “cons” have been figured out yet from a marketing standpoint, the industry is tanking and people are just throwing things at the wall to see what’ll stick, but all that stuff is really boring to me. Rock ‘N Roll and punk rock isn’t about marketing, to me, it’s about doing something creative with integrity and passion, if you do that, who cares how you get the music out there. Streaming, vinyls, cd’s, whatever. Formats are irrelevant to the larger point of having something quality to say and write.

DP: I suppose the theory is that it stops people downloading illegally, giving them a taste but leaving them to still want the end product.  In the past you’ve never been afraid to stand up for your beliefs as artists, especially on the downloading debate. Does it still frustrate you that people will be downloading the album, even if they then come and see the band live or buy merch, or even buy the CD when it comes out?

Greg: It’s frustrating, but it’s an inevitability. I understand both sides of the argument. I understand the theoretical benefits of downloading, and certainly understand the benefits of the technologies that allow downloading to be possible. I understand that it allows culture and creativity to progress at an explosive rate….in theory. In reality? I think it devalues music as a culture, as an art form, and reduces to completely to a commodity. I think it reinforces the already extremely short attention span of listeners, and cheapens the whole experience. It exists though, no matter what. The point is, and this is a point we are trying to make with our new album, is that these new instantly gratifying things in our culture require discipline to be integrated productively and not destructively. People need to understand the economic ramifications of their decisions if they never pay for something, as well as how that economy will inevitably affect the artists and the quality of the art itself. Like it or not, in our society you vote with your money, and people need to realize that the things they choose to support with likely be the things that stay afloat, not just in art, but in things like organic food, mom and pop shops, etc. Plenty of people talk about ethics and change, but then their spending habits don’t reflect their attitudes if it means spending a bit more money to make those choices.

DP: The new album seems to be a move back towards the earlier material in terms of technical dexterity, but without sacrificing the melody you’ve developed over Miss Machine and Ire Works. Was this a deliberate move or did it happen organically?

Greg: It really just happened organically. The truth is that we couldn’t do this before. We weren’t skilled enough at writing melody and different styles to integrate them seemlessly into the style that we are known for, so we had to compartmentalize those things a little bit in order to become equally competent at them. Now that we feel just as comfortable writing melody as we do writing aggressive chaos, we can marry the two together without it seeming awkward, and we can do that naturally without forcing it.

DP: The line up of the band has been pretty fluid over the last few albums, but it seems on record to be particularly tight (Billy Rymer’s drumming is immense throughout) at the moment. Do you see the line up as being pretty stable now, or is the fluidity something that’s strengthened you over time?

Greg: The loss and addition of various members throughout the years, with the exception of the people who have left due to injury, has definitely strengthened us. The process of being a band, for us, is evolving, and if someone has lost their fire or their way, they need to go. It’s a purification, a distillation, a pruning of dead leaves so to speak so that fresh ones can grow. The lineup that we have right now, for us, is the best for this time period. We are getting along personally better than ever and feel more creatively stimulated than we ever have, and that is insane considering how long we’ve been a band. Having said that, it is obvious that we have a winning formula with this lineup, and we’d like for it to continue as long as it feels natural. It’s easy to tell when someone is burnt out or their heart is somewhere else, and when that happens they will work themselves out of the band, but like I said that hopefully won’t happen, at least anytime soon.

DP: The new album is obviously very focused, but the sound is very punky and aggressive in places. Have you had a chance to try out any of the new material live yet? I imagine ‘Endless Endings’ will crush live.

Greg: Yeah so far we’ve been playing Farewell, Chinese Whispers, Good Neighbor, and Room Full Of Eyes, and they’re all going over really well live. We wrote this album pretty live, very organically. It was like being 15 and being in a room all summer just bashing out tunes. It was all written loud, in a room, live, so we knew going into the recording that these songs were gonna be mother fuckers in a live setting.

DP: So far the UK is only listed as a few dates and your Download appearance. Any plans to do a full tour?

Greg: We’ve been confirmed for the third day of Download, which should be insane, we’ve always had fun at UK fests. We’re coming back in September, October or so for a full proper headliner.

DP: Obviously you’re a band who have never been content to sit on your laurels, and have always tried to evolve your sound each time out. Does it frustrate you when there are a certain contingent of fans who bitch whenever you do something different?

Greg: You know the saying “you can’t please everyone all the time?” Well we never try and please anyone haha, so of course some people are gonna bitch each time. We’ve thrown so much at people now though, that I think we’re finally in a position where nobody knows what to expect from us, or at least is ready to expect anything, and that’s the best position artistically to be in, or at least the position with the most freedom.

‘Widower’ is pretty staggering the first time you hear it, it’s the most epic thing you’ve done (and to my mind the best as well) and the piano parts from (keyboard legend) Mike Garson are beautiful. How did that come about? Was he familiar with your stuff?

Greg: We met Mike backstage at a NIN concert. We were both special guests, and we ended up talking and realizing that we share a lot of similar attitudes regarding music and it’s creation. It just made sense to do something together, and that song in particular really lent itself to his talents. He came in and just improvised the whole thing in a few takes. Really incredible and inspiring, just a blast of creation.

DP: Jeff does a great job on vocals on ‘Parasitic Twins’, do you think we’ll be hearing more of his vocal styling’s in future? He could do a mean Maynard Keenan if you guys ever wanted to cover Tool.

Greg: I love Jeff’s voice and he has great ideas too as a writer, and him and I have really developed a camaraderie onstage in terms of performance, vibe, and vocals, and I really wanted that to appear on the album. I hope to have even more of that next time. It helps to make the albums feel the way our live shows feel. People always talk about a seeing a band live, and saying “wow they sound just like the album”. I think it should be the opposite. When you hear a band’s album, it should sound like they sound and feel live. The Maynard comparison is funny, I didn’t hear that when he first did it but then once everyone started saying it I could totally hear it.

DP: You guys had the privilege of seeing the last NIN tour up close and personal as support acts. I remember the first time I ever saw you was supporting System of a Down on their arena tour of the UK. You seem to like going up against crowds that wouldn’t normally be ‘your’ crowds. Is this a conscious effort to broaden your fanbase, and do you face it any differently from your own shows?

Greg: I love playing to our fans, but it keeps things interesting to go out in front of unsuspecting victims so to speak. You get people that instantly hate you, love you, or in most cases, are morbidly curious, and then eventually fall into one of the first two categories. It’s fun and keeps us from getting bored, and we get the benefit of getting some new fans here and there out of it too. Mainly it just keeps us from getting bored. You gotta put yourself in new environments constantly, in every way, or you’ll never grow in any way.

Option Paralysis is out now on Season of Mist records

An event so momentous the world shall stand still.

by Paul Stephenson

Ladies and gentlemen something of such grand magnificence as to be utterly unparalleled in my lifetime has just occurred.  A matter of high import that it would rank alongside a newly discovered collaboration album between the Beatles and Elvis, where they set down previously lost works of Mozart set to the also lost words of William Shakespeare.  Or, to put it another way, an event even more important than finding out that Devin Townsend has decided to stop fucking about and make another Strapping Young Lad album.

‘But what’, I hear you cry dimly into the night sky, ‘may such an event be, oh Internet sage?’ Well, prepare to bow to your knees and state your unworthiness, because here is….

A snippet of a new Limp Bizkit song, shot at the mixing desk by the overlord of red caps himself!  You see, that wasn’t in any way disappointing at all, was it?

Gasp at the sheer musical dexterity on display!  Marvel at the lyrical prowess! Be completely unsurprised that this seemingly unkillable fashion trend of a band have not matured or altered their sound one iota in over a decade!  Yes, the man in the red cap that is in no way worn to distract people from the fact that he is going bald (must be something about your ‘kooky generation’ eh Fred?) has once again pulled out such golden nuggets of lyrical flow as ‘Let’s rock this shit’ and something about jumping out of cockpits, while Wes Borland cranks out another hackneyed two note riff and John Otto is presumably taking it to the Matthews Bridge.

I can’t wait for the album.

EXCLUSIVE- Nirvana’s Out of Pyjamas!

Meet the Team

By Noel Oxford

The news every loathsome Gen-Xer has been waiting for is finally here – grunge elder-statesmen Nirvana are to re-unite! And you, yes you, could be part of a tale like Rockstar featuring Mark Wahlberg and her off of Friends!

Along with a mystery frontman to replace dead, headless, rich man Kurt Cobain, surviving band members Dave Grohl and Krist Novoselic plan to dredge up all their grungiest three-chord classics for a 2011 tour, a new album, a Saturday morning anime series, and a line of action figures aimed at 30 year old men – but not before live televised auditions for a new singer/guitarist have taken place, later this year.

And Demon Pigeon can exclusively reveal that BBC One, favoured by Adrian Chiles and pillocks everywhere, has eagerly snapped up the UK broadcast rights to ‘Smells Like Teen Talent’, created in partnership with Simon Cowell’s Syco, HBO and Lidl.

“The current trends for what we’re calling ‘legacy rock’ are just too big a market to pass up,” said sickening drummer Grohl, whose bands are all literally dreadful. “We think the time, and the demographics, are both just perfect to re-imagine, resurrect and re-leverage the Nirvana brand going forward, and our fine colleagues at Syco certainly agree!”

“We’ve consulted with Kurt’s family, and they are all one hundred thousand per cent on board,” added Novoselic. “Kurt, RIP, was a big believer in democracy and also having lots of money, and we firmly believe this is how he would have wanted his legacy to continue. We, as ‘the talent’, get a thirty per cent cut of all the phone-in vote money. Can’t be bad.”

The show will tread the firmly-established format of other television talent contests, such as X-Factor, Pop Idol and One Man and his Dog. Fronted intolerably by Justin Lee-Collins, hopefuls will strut their stuff in front of a panel of judges consisting of Cowell, Louis Walsh, Sharon Osbourne and Buzz, off of sludge legends (the) Melvins, who hopes to make the show appear at least slightly legitimate.

Celebrity twat noted for girlish hair.

A studio insider showed us some exclusive on-set photographs, but then he broke our scanner, so we can’t show you. Host Lee-Collins will wear a series of costumes inspired by the many guitars inexpertly played by Cobain over the years. Meanwhile, star judge Buzz will don a crown and ride a giant motorised shotgun, from which a hilarious flag reading ‘YOUR FIRED’ will pop, pushing rejected contestants off the stage and into a moat full of gunge. And Simon Cowell’s famous hurtful and unpleasant banter, beloved of housebound divots worldwide, will be in full effect.

“We’ve been playing with a few script concepts,” said comedy consultant Graham Linehan who helps Simon Cowell pretend to have charisma. “One of the best so far is ‘What else could I say? No apologies. That was awful.’ Simon’s looking forward to the big laughs when he pulls the trigger on that sucker.”

“If Alice in bloody Chains can make a go of it after Christ knows how fucking long, then I don’t see why Nirvana can’t sodding do it as well, you sarcastic bugger,” said sweary Simon, fixing this reporter with steely gimlet pound-sign eyes that still haunt each and every one of this reporter’s nights. “Their new flipping singer isn’t even the right bastard colour!” he snarled, before biting into a faeces-contaminated Big Mac.

“Turnout was low for the first round of auditions at Portland, Oregon’s Ovaltine Stadium,” said some lackey. “But word soon spread, and by the time the team hit Grohl’s hometown of Warren, Ohio, the queue was stretched right back to Tower Records on Clam Street!”

But even though preliminary auditions are already underway, it’s not too late to get your talents spotted! Check some websites on the internet for more details.

Cobain’s widow Courtney Love could not be translated for comment.

Andrew W.K.- Close Calls With Brick Walls/ Mother of Mankind

(Steev Mike Recordings)

By Daniel Cairns

Music, like everything, is completely subjective. Chances are you’ll like something that someone hates, and vice versa. Matters are confused even more by the very fact that as you grow ever older and wiser, you yourself will become much more discerning about what you permit yourself to hear. For instance, as a young idiot hesher, I couldn’t see past Pantera. Nowadays though, I can’t hear the opening riff to Cowboys from Hell without breathing a palpable sigh of ennui.

Basically, all our parents were right about rock music. It goes in one ear and comes out the other. If I ever hit the ripe old age of 42, there’s no chuffing way I’ll still be listening to Napalm Death or Cryptopsy. My wife (who will either be Lady Gaga, Winona Ryder or Fatima Whitbread) would find it utterly shameful, and our kids, Huey, Dewy and Mustafa, wouldn’t want to speak to me.

For the longest time, I couldn’t think of a single band or artist who would bring solidarity to my dysfunctional future family unit. Just what would we stick on in the spacemobile on our yearly jaunts to Uranus without causing all out civil war?

For hours I pondered this. Days even. Sat by the light of my computer screen, alcoholic tendencies in one hand, penis in the other, I went insane like an eldritch horror character, rendered feverous with frenzied concern.

Who would save my marriage?

And then the answer came this very morning. A package that presented both instant gratification, and long term salvation.

It was the return of Andrew W.K.

Mr W.K. has always been something of a curio. In a genre drowing in the tepid stew of its own self pity, he burst onto the scene like a kaleidoscopic bastardisation of Jimmy Saville and George ‘Corpsegrinder’ Fisher. The utterly peerless I Get Wet, which hit at the turn of the century, was completely unprecedented. Consisting of a dozen anthems, chronicling the fun and frolics of a confident fun loving man in his early twenties, it mixed the immediacy of grunge with the decadence of hair metal, bereft of the self loathing that permeated both. Though following release The Wolf was also fantastic, it didn’t quite reach the same heights as it’s awe inspiring predecessor.

It’s been years since our man has released anything on these shores. Owing to complicated legal wrangles, he’s been unable to properly release anything since his sophomore effort.

Until now.

Following his daring instrumental record Cadillac 55, the Western world can finally enjoy his 2006 opus Close Calls With Brick Walls. And good lord can we enjoy it. It builds upon the foundations of his earlier ouevre, and adds lashings of experimentation to the mix. As before there are numerous odes to the art of fun, but there’s a newfound maturity to the proceedings. There are tunes where you can flail around and engage in borderline illicit activities with those of the opposite (or same) sex, but there are gentler moments, moments where one can stop and ponder. ‘Why do we party? Do we party to define our lives? Or do we live for the party?’ These moments of introspection though often give way to another all out fun assault, as if to say ‘to question the ethics of partying is futile. Let’s just do it on the couch.’

That the record wasn’t released at the time is a travesty. In an increasingly stale musical environment, it’s somewhat discouraging that this iconoclastic, maverick savant can be stifled so. There’s more creativity and disregard for conservative convention in ten seconds of his music than in the entire career of a freeform jazz musician from New Orleans. Who else has managed to create such a cohesive amalgamation of Slayer and Elton John?

But that’s not all. Along with Close Calls With Brick Walls, Mr W.K. has added an extra CD, called Mother of Mankind. This part of the collection consists of 21 unreleased tracks spanning his entire career, and, as with everything the man does, it’s spectacular. That these songs were deemed unworthy of release is astonishing in itself. These are pop metal odes to joy that render everything in the commerical sphere utterly futile. It also properly shows the full breadth of the man’s proficiency with the musical form, as there are wildly experimental dabblings in reggae, electronica, ambient music and piano-led balladry. In a way, he’s somewhat comparable to Mike Patton, although Andrew W.K’s experimentation is much more palatable.

This brings me back to my previous point. Remember my meanderings regarding how all music has a shelf life, and how it’s all subjective? Well, I believe Andrew W.K. is the one man who can bring uniformity to the whole process. I truly believe that Andrew W.K is to music, what Ghandi was to peace.

You see, Andrew W.K. transcends. Never before has anyone created art that is so of its time, yet also so timeless. More than any other musician, he appeals to people of all creed, colour and age. Everyone from my illegitimate son Gomez to my dead Grandfather has found something enjoyable in his music. His music evokes everything from childlike exuberance to wisened joy. It is the music that will stop my future family clawing at each other’s necks. It is the music that Huey, Dewy and Mustafa will be conceived to. It’s the music I’ll be listening to when I convince my future wife to let me try anal.

You should buy this record for many reasons. It’s fantastic, life affirming, overwhelmingly positive, fearless and inspiring. However, it’s also an artistic triumph, and a testament to the knowledge that one man can make a difference. One man can indeed forge a life doing exactly what he wants. One man can bring many together in unity, and one man can party extremely bloody hard.

Have an unruly child? Buy him this album. Can’t agree with a work colleague? Buy him this album. Wife threatening divorce? Buy her this album. I’m not exaggerating when I say this record could change, and ultimately save your existence.