Secondskin- Captive Audience

(Union Black Recordings)

By Daniel Cairns

It is half two in the morning, and I’ve just come back from work and I’m extreeeemely tired, but you know, I thought I’d knock out this review before I go to bed and knock something else out.

Jesus fuck, one line in and I’m talking about wanking already. 😦

Anyway Secondskin are good. In fact, it kind of took me by surprise. I hate most things, I won’t deny that. I have an assload of promos I have to get through, and I’m seriously not looking forward to it. There are only so many ways a man can call something shite in an arty, original way. So kudos to Secondskin for not being balls, and for not bringing out the Roger Ebert in me.

Secondskin are something of a throwback to the bands I liked when I was cultivating my pubic region. There’s a huuuuge dollop of Earthtone9 in here, along with other prog wankers like Tool and Meshuggah. It’s about as original as doing a plop, but that’s ok. Nobody is original these days. Besides, Secondskin make catchy, melodic prog with big singalong chorus’s and big melodic bombastic bits with great fecking bells hanging off of them, so being a bit derivative isn’t a problem.

Also, some of the music here sounds like the music in Mass Effect. Because I belong to an increasingly prominent subculture of divvies in their mid twenties that immerse themselves in games, movies and music to escape the clattering horror that is modern society, this is a big deal for me. I’d much rather scoot around space in my spaceship, starting fights with uglyfuck hunchbacked lizard people and bonk ethereal, bald  aliens than work shitty boring jobs and deal with boring people. Also, I’m supposed to be reviewing Mass Effect 2 at some point actually. I’m really looking forward to detailing how I managed to bum Tali. Oh shit, that’s a spoiler. Oh well.

Anyhoo, the album is good, but it isn’t perfect. Some of the singing’s a bit… urgh. He has a good voice, but it sounds a bit boybandy to my jaded ears. Not that boybands are bad. I sincerely believe that Rule The World by Take That is one of the best songs of the decade. Or maybe I think that because it was made for a film starring Claire Danes, and I am totally going to fuck her one day and I just think of it fondly because I’m in the thrall of my willy. Fuck I dunno.



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