By Daniel Cairns
I have had a miserable week. I have been ill, I still hate my job and I still can’t grow a proper beard. 😦
However! A guy I know on twitter alerted me to some news which made me do a smile! Thank you Jimmy!
FellSilent done gone and split up. Read the whole sorry affair (as well as some hilariously verbose PR) here. Dudes with fringes and seven strings are pissed.
Apparently they were pioneers of the ‘djent’ movement. That sounds like something that happens when you go to the toilet after ingesting a bicycle. Basically it amounts to nothing more than a bunch of eejits stewing up a bunch of half arsed Meshuggah riffs and making them nice for people who found said band too scary.
As well as aping Meshuggah, FellSilent were one of numerous bastards that fed off the carcass of the infinitely more talented and imaginative SikTh. I mean, look at the below video.
Everything about it makes me do a big sad sigh. From the syncopated headbanging to the double vocal thing to the widdly widdly riffs to the melodic bits to the OHGODOHGODSTOPITSTOPITSTOPIT. Even the fact their drummer is called Noddy doesn’t help.
Seriously, it makes me fucking sick. I’m well aware I’m probably not the target audience due to old, but c’mooooon! I mean, they weren’t awful, and there were some nice groovy bits, but why would anyone want to listen to that when there’s this?
Oh well. That’s the good news. The bad news is that some of them have started a new band called Monuments. There’s a song on their myspace. And it sounds pretty much like FellSilent funnily enough. Although with 8 strings now! Woooh! Yeah!
If I end up liking the album, I’ll come out and say a big stupid sorry. Actually fuck it, I won’t.
If you’re genuinely saddened by this news, don’t worry you fucking bastard! You have albums coming out from bands like Veil of Maya, Tesseract and Periphery soon, all of them pioneers of the ‘djent’ (although I prefer Meh-shuggah) movement!
God. Shit bands are like fucking hydras round my way.