I have a mildly amusing story about this band. Andi and I were having a conversation about shit british bands and then I mentioned Panic Cell, to which Andi told me that wherever you go, you will always find someone who knows them personally and likes them. I was commandeering the Chronicles of Chaos twitter feed at the time, so I thought I’d stoke the fires, and asked ‘what’s the deal with Panic Cell?’
Almost immediately someone responded with ‘Good lads that like their jager!’
Andi was right. Fucks sake.
Anyway, Fire It Up. This sounds like Disturbed to me. Seriously, look at the song in this video I’m about to embed for you. And you…
Some videos are endearingly bad, like the one Panic Cell’s brethren in Sleeper Cell did, but this goes beyond that. I’m not sure what the best thing about it is (hint: it’s not the song). I like psone era graphics, which this video supplies with gay aplomb. I also like the pretty brazen product placement (I was wondering what the title Black Juice Down was referring to, thinking it to be some pornographic send up of Ridley Scott’s Black Hawk Down). In fact it reminds me of the time I drunk a bottle of jagermeister at University and woke up with my head in a washing machine. I also like the singer manny’s angry face. It’s a hulking marvel of a video. It literally could be the worst thing I’ve ever seen, and I have seen The Room.
And then there’s the music. There’s a whole album of this crap. Seriously I don’t get it. How can people get away with making such shitty generic…shit? Look at them chugging away, wishing it was still 2001.
I’d describe the album to you, but it left me so ennui stricken and bored that I cannot be scuttered. It wasn’t even bad in an entertaining Kevin Rowland My Beauty way, it was boring bad.
Panic Cell should gracefully retire, and kindly take other nu-metal cast-offs like Breed 77 and Otep with them. There’s no need for them now that Korn and Limp Bizkit are coming back this year.
GOLD COBRA REPRAZENT