Korn- Korn III: Remember Who You Are

(Roadrunner Records)

The new Korn album is called Korn III. Korn have released like 800 albums. Either the band are more stupid than we thought, or they’re freely admitting everything they’ve done since the mid 90’s is balls. Which isn’t fair really. Loathe as I am to admit, I’m actually quite fond of Issues, Untouchables and Take A Look In The Mirror. I can’t explain why. No joke, when I had a big old CD clearout (where I got rid of loads of my old Hessian shit like Cannibal Corpse, Death, Lamb Of God etc) I kept all the Korn albums I’d bought. That there, is conclusive proof that Korn are better than Death.

Anyway yes, I like Korn. Occasionally. I wouldn’t have a big old shout about it, but they’re just fucking dumb and harmless.  Beat Me Upright from Untouchables is one of the best, most stupid metal songs ever.

Now though, they’ve tried to go back to their ‘roots’ for the new album. Just like they tried to go back to their roots with Take A Look In The Mirror. Which was hilarious. Korn III isn’t anywhere near as funny though. They’ve got their old producer Ross Robinson back, who might just be about the biggest dumbass ever. Seriously. This is the man who harped on at the turn of the century  about how nu metal was dead or something, producing bands like Amen and At The Drive In, and then when ATDI took too many drugs and Amen got fat he went running back to producing Limp Bizkit and er… Korn. So yeah, the guy’s a fucking hypocritical hole…

And a terrible producer to be honest. Korn III sounds atrocious. Fieldy‘s bass still sounds like it’s got diahorrea, Munky‘s guitar sound is fucking horrible, the drummer sounds like he’s covered in treacle and Jonathan Davis‘s voice is way too high in the mix. I normally think Jonathan Davis’s voice is pretty ok, but he sounds especially rubbish on this album. He’s what, 40 now? He’s still doing the creaky ‘kooky scary man’ vocals,  shitty roaring and dubious clean singing.  Normally a decent producer would fix that, but lo and behold, we have Ross Robinson at the helm, a man who could ruin the best band, let alone an average outdated one.

And the lyrics. Christ, the lyrics. You know how Chino from Deftones uses stuff like metaphors and imagery pretty effectively? Davis don’t do dat. Davis is still writing lyrics befitting someone 30 years younger than him. I can’t think of anything specific but it’s full of the ‘argh, leave me alone, i’m fucked up argh argh’ stuff that he’s been doing forever. Only for some reason, it sounds especially fucking rubbish now.

If I didn’t have some suspect affection for the band from the time when I masturbated 8 times a day and was terrified of women (generic ‘haha I haven’t changed much’ joke) I’d find this utterly atrocious. Actually fuck it, this is atrocious. There’s fuck all dynamicism here. It’s 11 shitty mid paced pop metal songs. It’s impossible to pick out one song from the next. One that does stick out is… ah fuck I can’t remember. But Mistah Davis tries to ape the sobs and anguish of Daddy from the first album. But it’s not harrowing, it’s insincere bollocks.

The album’s especially dreadful, because fucking Danza III has just been released. Before trying Korn III, I had been playing the utter fuck out of Danza III.  The record would normally be bad enough, but in light of how amazing the latest Tony Danza Tapdance Extravaganza is, it just shows what a bunch of fucking hacks Korn really are now.

Gold Cobra will be better.


1 Comment

  1. Dynamicism, also termed the dynamic hypothesis or the dynamic hypothesis in cognitive science or dynamic cognition, is a new approach in cognitive science exemplified by the work of philosopher Tim van Gelder. It argues that differential equations are more suited to modelling cognition than more traditional computer models. Cf also dynamical systems theory.

    Also, “Rememeber Who You Are?” What are they saying with that cover? Remember you’re a sex offender like on our first album cover?

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