Dat’s not troo metuls


The magical land of the Internet was thrown into momentary chaos this morning with the staggering news that a musical act had been booked to play at, of all places, a music festival. This remarkable turn of events caught people so off guard that they were moved to take to the internet to voice their opinions, in that way that people do on the internet, and that way in which I am doing right now. Here is a sample of the collective eloquence:


I’ll gloss over the grammatical crimes as evidence of a failing educational system. Far be it for me to pour scorn on people’s rage and ire, but might I begin by saying that if you are not a fan of a musical artist that you are perhaps not legally obligated to spend money to see them in a live setting? Or that if you are attending a festivial event where said band are performing their dubious wares, that you might find some other way to occupy your time? Perhaps with ale?

Complaining about the quality of the headliners at Download is a bit like bemoaning the quality of the acting on Hollyoaks. Avenged Sevenfold are a karaoke version of all the metal festival headliners of yesteryear, and Download is the perfect place for them, being as it is the playground of idiot children who have not yet discovered their innate ability to not shout SLAYYEEEEER or METAAAAAAALL at throat ripping volume.

To stretch the drama metaphor beyond any logical feasibility, if it’s decent acting and drama you want, why not turn from the 6.30 slot on Channel 4 and focus instead on some gritty and superior foreign imports like The Killing (Hellfest, Roadburn or Wacken) or some homegrown but independently minded quality drama like Utopia (Damnation, Temples or Desertfest) rather than bleat about how something that is obviously shit is obviously shit?

It’s a shit festival, basically, is where I was going with this. Unless the organizers want to give us free tickets, of course.


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